If only it were so…

If conspiracy theories were true, wow what a world….

Climate change, hoax that it is, will reverse once the Dems are out of office. I understand they’ve been controlling the weather just to mess up the economy…. So, the minute Trump takes office, the arctic will fix itself. Not sure if that means fracking will be safe now, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Clearly coal will get to being sulfur-free again and all those jobs will come back. None of the minors will suffer from black lung like they used to. I see how it all works now.

When Obamacare is repealed (because it helped no one) everyone’s going to have healthcare, and it’s going to be cheap, believe me. Really cheap!

Oh, and we’re going to get our guns back. The freeze on new gun registrations will be lifted, just like the freeze on ammunition.  That could raise the crime rate that has haunted us these last eight years. 

The economy will no doubt get better, even though this Christmas season will have more job openings than I can remember. It couldn’t get any worse than it’s been under our Muslim president. People will be happy after Trump’s in office because he’ll take care of the “little guy” just like he always has. See? We’ll all be rich.

Speaking of Muslims, we clearly need to fear them, after being led by one for eight years. I’ll bet he isn’t even from this planet! They don’t have birth certificates on Mars! I’m sure of it!

That Radical Islamist Obama blew up the whole country! You can see the craters! … but I digress.

When Mr. Trump gets in, all of the races will be happy, just as they are now. You can tell their happy now, right?

When the Republicans run Congress, all the women will go home because they want to. They’ve been so unhappy being out of the home, not having sex anytime their husbands wanted it. Especially the lesbians. 

Also, apparently Medicare won’t be needed. Old people will stop getting old, or having health problems. It’s not an entitlement if you don’t need it. 

Lastly, foreign trade will be helped along as all those Mexicans build that wall. They’ll be happier in their home country anyway. Then we can have all the crap jobs we haven’t had for years. Suddenly we’ll want them. 

That Trump guy is truly amazing. Welcome to Bizarro world.

Luckily I won’t have to resist with peace,

John

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