Can I Just Throw Up Now?

(Editor’s note: every once in awhile in my practice, I see the perpetrator of violence like this. If you’re in my office, you are not the problem anymore. You are trying to get better. You are doing the right thing.)

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the human condition in America has gotten worse.

Over the last few months, I have seen clips of people at the Republican/Tea Party debates yell incredibly disgusting things. I don’t mean the candidates, though I worry about them as well. ” First there was the person who said that the uninsured man should die when Ron Paul asked rhetorically “what can we do? Let him die?”. Then there was the person who yelled, “Kill ’em!” about people who don’t or can’t work. Again, I don’t blame the people on stage or their party for what was said, but I worry that they think the bully in the audience is somehow their target audience — the voters they “have to” get in order to win. If that’s your core constituency, you’ve really got problems. I get that people are frustrated, but that’s inhuman and evil. Which leads me to Penn State.

Are you kidding me?! Really?! What kind of people think that football is more important than rape of children?!!! Seriously?? Someone does? And it’s not just someone… No, it’s a LOT of someones — protesters, rioters, staff, lots of staff over the years. Colleges like Penn State owe their existence to the reputation of their students. I can say now and forever, I would never, under any circumstances, hire a Penn State student who took place in the protests and riots against Joe Paterno’s firing. I don’t care if they go on to get a doctorate in anything, I will not hire them, because they have no morals. In fact, they have, sadly, less than no morals. They have anti-morals.

What kind of a person rapes a young boy? How about more than one? That’s some sick son-of-a-….. What kind of a person sees it and doesn’t stop it? That’s some spineless person, at best. What kind of board knows about this behavior and keeps the molester from… the shower room? Seriously? What does one call that? Institutional evil? I don’t even know what to say. Then finally, someone shows up and says, “This must end!”. Sanity survives in one person, at least, and whatever board they have making this decision. Adults who should have known better are forced to take responsibility for their actions.

Paterno, to his credit, accepts the decision after letting the rapes happen. Who could take away his right to be a responsible adult and role model to thousands of people? Why, of course, the lugheads who protested the decisions! And I, for one, don’t want to hear, “they were drunk”. Drunken inhumans are not better than sober inhumans — they are just drunker.

Is it possible that we have somehow created a group of sociopaths big enough to do all of this? The lone psychopath is bad enough. Groups of people who choose a game — yes, it’s still only a game! — over adult, responsible action on rape are just so far out there, that I could not conceive of them. Sodom and Gomorrah used to be just a story. Now, it’s America — and not just idiots, this is supposedly educated people, the leaders of tomorrow, all those things we say at their commencement speeches.

How did we get here? Where did we go wrong? What kind of a system produces this? What, in God’s name, is going on here?

I’m sorry that this blog offers no solutions, or answers. It offers nothing but a rant, but dang! Events like this are the reason that people print things in “all caps”! This blog should probably all be in all caps, but I just can’t believe it. I hope it gives voice to other people’s thoughts and it’s the best I can do.

People who have been raped frequently suffer from it for years, sometimes the rest of their lives. They live with shame, they live with guilt, they live with shame if something bad happens to their perpetrators. Where ever Penn State is, it must be horrible for them. If the protesters\rioters knew that, I’d hope that they wouldn’t do what they are doing. But then I’d have hoped that long before now.

Having said that, I will say here what I frequently tell my clients: I pray for those who have been raped — in this situation and elsewhere, male and female. I am soooooo sorry that this happened to you. If you’re a victim, it’s not your fault. I can assure you that, no matter what the circumstances. I also pray for those who commit rape, that they might find their way back to a life they can live with, by taking responsibility for their actions. If you’re still alive, there’s time to change. Those who think football is more important than people’s physical, mental, and spiritual health — I’ll pray for them, too — right after I throw up.

Not at peace at all,

John

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