Greetings from the land of boredom. OK, it’s interesting in some ways or I wouldn’t have anything to write about. To all the Facebook friends who have wondered how I’m doing, this is it.
I’m sitting in my air-conditioned with a 12 year-old girl who giggles about the girlfriends she has lunch with and creating her own TV show. At the same time, my 9 year old is staring at me through a hole on the bottom of an ice-cream cup. The cat has taken over my bed — the couch in the living room. She has managed this not, not twice, but three times, each time getting closer to where my neck would be, if it were on the pillow.The cat is about 19 years old and feels like she deserves to sit anywhere she wants to. I’d tell her she’s wrong but she doesn’t understand English in the same way that the dog does. She is a cat after all. After the cat is moved, I’ll lay down again maybe. For now, though, sitting up seems pretty exciting and I’m willing to share.
For the last few days, I haven’t even had the energy to watch TV or read a book, except in 20 minute bits. I started a blog on prayer and ran out of energy there, too. They warned me that I’d be tired and, sure enough, that’s true. Went out yesterday to McDonalds — sat in the car, mind you, and got tired. Today I got an iced coffee again and it doesn’t get more exciting than that…
Hygiene is another thing that fills up my thoughts in a day — hygiene or lack of it. Got to use a washcloth last night (ooooooh!) Today (Saturday? yup, Saturday), for the first time since Wednesday I took a shower. I haven’t been this aware of my bodily processes for a long time. I feel like my grandmother who used to talk about how important “regularity” and “roughage” were — and if there was a problem with either for two days in a row. The joy of the shower is that my bandage came off today. For the past few days, I’ve had a bandage on and it’s looked like I was shot in the neck by someone in Hollywood. I assume actually getting shot in the neck looks a lot worse and hurts a lot more. Still, I’m not a big decoration guy and a dark red, quarter-sized blot isn’t my idea of style.
We took it off today and what’s left looks like a luxury liner (the Lusitania, perhaps?) The doctor apparent;y drew 4 hash marks with a marker and cut down the middle of them — about an inch and-a-quarter, I suppose. That cut part has this white “steri-strip” over it, so now I have a bow and 4 smokestacks on my neck. I suppose it’s better than having bolts protruding from my neck, but not a whole lot.
I will say that I’m happy to not take that ship into The Great Hereafter — at least not at this time. My pastor was here yesterday and we were both remarking on that. I was 90% not worried about the surgery, but it was a pretty intense 10% for a while. Now, though, since I have absolutely NO recollection of the entire surgery, it seems kind of silly. (I assume I had surgery — but only because of the cut on my neck. I can see now how people can believe they were abducted and tested by aliens. It could have happened here, but my insurance company doesn’t pay for those procedures as far as I know.
The doctor prescribed me pain meds and — because of my work — I don’t let those suckers out of my sight. I think they have a street value of, like, $600.00 and I don’t like them much. I don’t have much pain and will avoid them as long as I can — which looks like it might be forever. A pill here and a pill there and that;s all it takes. (Yes, I’m a lightweight).
Boredom’s not as bad as it might sound, though. I get to enjoy family life for more than a few days in a row. I like hearing dumb jokes and seeing people be goofy with their food and having iced coffee to share with my wife. And… I get to sleep! I like sleeping, a lot. My friend Al has said in the past that it’s one of the things I do best. He’s right — and I’ve missed exercising that particular talent, Finally, after 3 days of sleep, I’m finally catching up. Being on “auto-pilot” is definitely not the way to be, but it’s the gear I’ve been in for months. As my friend Julie said, it seems kind of silly to require surgery in order to slow down, but there it is. I am trying with all my might to not watch the news — which, since I sleep most of the day isn’t hard. I’m trying to gain perspective again.
As far as I can tell, nothing much has changed. People still die due to tornadoes. We’re still at war. Republicans apparently still want to shut down Elizabeth Warren’s appointment. Somebody called me to let me know that people are still using heroin.
Balancing it off is my Facebook news about how cool my friends are. My friend Muftiah had a baby. Friends from High School had their children’s graduation, There’s a golf tournament to raise money for amputee sport enthusiasts that I hope to attend — though I am neither an amputee nor a big sports enthusiast. People are preaching this week, other people are trying to figure things out this week. People are golfing, people are remembering loved ones, and I’m spending time with mine — at least some of mine. My neck doesn’t hurt much, and I don’t have to do much of anything. Happy greetings from the land of boredom.