The End of a Few Eras… Bookstores, Theaters, and Record Stores

Today, my wife and spent what would have been a thousand dollars at any other time — for less that a hundred dollars! We spent it on a “90% off” sale as the Hartford Seminary Bookstore closed today. While I love the savings, and I’m sure it looks good from a financial standpoint, I feel bad taking advantage of someone else’s misfortune — rather like buying a foreclosed home on the cheap.  It just seems like bad karma. Helping myself while someone else becomes homeless just doesn’t seem right to me. 

Anyway, while I was at the bookstore, my wife and I got to wondering if the seminary bookstore in Rochester was going to close and she talked about how even bigger schools order books on-line now.  Apparently, it’s more streamlined to buy and sell books online individually.  While Michelle thinks it just moves jobs around in the economy, I think it’s just a way for the corporate giants to rip us off, take people out of the market and keep the profits for themselves. Needless to say, I’m more skeptical — or maybe just more depressed —  at the bookstore’s closing. The one thing we agreed on is that one less bookstore means the loss of an experience. She said, “How will I know what’s out there if I don’t see the displays in the stores?”.  Stores provide an odd thing: the sense that I don’t know everything about the universe.  I don’t know what’s just been published, or what book might change my life if I come across it on some dusty shelf or what mystery author I might discover by accident because it’s on a shelf. Because someone else is presenting it to me, I have little control over what I come across.  I can’t just read what I think will re-inforce my own position. Mystery can happen. Magic can happen.  As it is, if I go on line and search, I usually go searching for what I think I need and Google or whoever tells me what it looks like — or at least the top 10 versions of it — 50 if I really want to go searching. But today, I bought books that “popped out at me” — something I’d like to read some day or about a project I’d like to dream about or things that just looked interesting that I never would have considered. I don’t think I bought one book I’d ever thought of before, but they all look fascinating to me. So now, I don’t have to just listen to myself talk or think, I am forced — through chance or coincidence — to hear a viewpoint I didn’t even know was out there. That’s cool.

In the same way, while we were hanging around outside the bookkstore, we were talking about my new Ipod Touch — an incredible gizmo that does so many things that I’m sure it will be a part of my personal life for a long time.  It’s a GREAT gizmo, but it comes with a price. The thing I will most do with it is download music — singles, mostly, that I heard on the radio or were recommended by a friend. 

But does anybody remember the “concept album”?  Every song is a piece of the puzzle, making the whole more than just the sum of the parts.  That’s gone if you leave it up to me to pick the songs.  One of my favorite records of all time is Earth, Wind, and Fire’s “That’s the Way of the World”.  The album contains 2 “classic” cuts — “Shining Star” and “That’s the Way of the World” , but it has incredible other songs — “Reasons” (another hit by itself), but my favorite song is called “All About Love” and it’s incredibly beautiful and full of all kinds of advice a 14 year old boy needed to hear to have confidence with women. Besides that, there are these incredibly funky songs between songs — instrumental pieces — that aren’t even credited on the album. But they are there and they just pop up out of nowhere at some of the best spots.  And if I bought the singles, I would never hear these brilliant, cool things!   Cindy Lauper’s albums in the 1980′s yielded 5 or 6 hits, until the entire album was out in one form or another.  Likewise for Billy Joel’s “Innocent Man” album/CD.  But that means there were at least 5 pieces of music that were worth hearing, and probably more. If you bought the album, you knew that already and probably didn’t spend as much as you would buying each single.

When an artist puts out an album/CD or whatever, there are some pieces that never make it to the radio.  When records had to be flipped over, there was a “B” side — some song that the artist or their company thought should go on the the other side.  The Beatles often had songs on the “B” side that became hits.  Numerous other artists had their “B” side become the hit single and were as surprised as anybody when it happened.

Remember when Forrest Gumo said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get”?  Bookstores and complete albums are the box in that sentence. The sensation of going into record store or a bookstore is not one my kids will probably remember — or they might be the last generation to do so. They will never know album art or the surreal sense that there’s all kinds of things out there — even in the bargain bin — that might change your life. The smell of old books in a bookstore will be gone for them, as will the chance to meet a future  loved one for the first time over mutual interest in books or music.  Buying as a public thing will go the way of the dinosaur, so the chance to meet some person by asking if they’ve ever heard of this music or that book is gone. We will isolate and go even further from knowing each other because we are in control of our lives and we can have it delivered. This is a big deal.

This leads me to my last good/bad gizmo. We have Netflix and we have a Wii. Both really cool and really inexpensive entertainment.  If you put them together, you can watch movies streaming on the TV — nearly any movie.  And with the price of movie theaters these days, my family and I can watch a whole months worth of movies, etc. for less than it costs the family to go out — and if they want popcorn,  we could spend 6 months of Netflix on one movie — easily. So, with the economy the way it is, we’ll stay home and be entertained.  The public time — the sense of movies on the big screen with a crowd that laughs or cries together will be lost. Assuming I have grandchlidren, they will probably never see a movie with a crowd in quite the same way that we do now. I remember the opening night of  “The Empire Strikes Back” in Hollywood at 2 o’clock in the morning and laughing with the crowd, avoiding the spaceships on the screen with the rest of the people there, and appaluding at the end.  My kids have seen Star Wars and Empire by now, I think. But they’ll never know the thrill of watching it publicly, with a crowd of 200 people or so on a screen bigger than your house. Darth Vader or the shark from Jaws aren’t nearly as frightening when they’re in your house.

Do I love3 my computer and Barnes and Noble.com?  Do I really love my Ipod?  Do I love the convenience and money savings of Netflix?  A resounding “YES!” to all of those.  But I worry sometimes about the loss that comes with them.  Bookstore closings are really depressing — especially if you associate the place with good people and good times and the mystery of what happens next.  So I grieve and I celebrate all at the same time, for the beginning of the new gizmos and end of these eras.

Peace,

John

50 is weird!!!

Today, June 24th, 2010 is my 50th birthday

Today, June 24th, 2010 is my birthday.  That is, I was born on June 24th, 1960.  Since I’ve had so much fun this last year writing my blog, I thought I’d write about this milestone in case it ever actually “matters” to my children… (Also, if I ever teach Psy 111 again, I might show this to my class when we talk about life-cycle development).  Here’s the long and short of it — 50 is weird. It’s unlike anything else I’ve ever felt. 

 Somewhere between “the world has changed” and “I’ve changed” is the truth of these feelings.  The world has changed because of Facebook.  I have moved around alot in my life and have friends from all over — close friends, acquaintences, dear friends, fat friends (though none come to mind right now — age changes the definition of “fat” I find), short friends, tall friends, Black friends, White friends, too many different types of Hispanic friends to encapsulate under the word “hispanic”, gay friends, straight friends, bisexual and asexual friends (some by choice, some not so much) old friends, New Hampshire friends, Massachusetts and Vermont, New York and California  friends, and the list goes on.  On Facebook this year, many of them have shared the same space — cyberspace.  This year, for my birthday, it was like they were all in one place.  It touched my heart deeply as I was reminded how fortunate I am. They said wonderful things, shared great advice and were just generally there.  It was great. On Sunday of this week, (in 3 days), my wife is planning a great “old-fashioned” real-time party  – the kind with real humans in attendance. That will be incredible, I’m sure. She’s worked really hard on it. There’s a gift involved and it required some assembly, but I like surprises so I don’t yet know know what it is.

*** NEWS FLASH*** My Dad just called. My mother will get a hospice nurse soon.  This sucks, but it brings me to the the other thing about 50 — It’s not really about me and my generation anymore… It’s about everybody after us.  At 50, there’s a lot less left to life than the part I’ve already seen.  It IS all down hill from here, and that’s not a bad thing –yet.

Before my father called, my daughter wanted a hug and we played on the swing in our front yard. Now my oldest daughter is showing me a slideshow on her phone.  50 means I’m between everything. I’m between the future of my daughters and the end (at some point, but not today) of my parents. I’m between near joy at my daughters’ accomplishments and near tears as I think about my life without my mother. I’m closer to the end of my ministry career, and nearer to the start of some friends’.

 I thought about it the other day, and I don’t have many goals left in life — marraige, kids, a house, some importance to the world, owning and learning to play a guitar are all behind me now, having been accomplished. I’ve even had a new car once or twice! Pretty much the only things left are learning to fly a plane and a trip around the world, maybe a second visit to Hawaii (Michelle, yes, it’s still there — just like I said it would be).  I wonder how many people can say that they have managed that as I think about it, in a world that endures poverty, famine, warfare and god-awful horrible stuff.  It means I’m very blessed. If I died today, I’d be OK, very OK, with my life — except formissing my daughters’ growing up, getting married, etc.  But, no, I’M NOT DEAD YET!!! I still have stuff I want to do and friendships/relationships to enjoy. As long as I do that, life will continue to be really good.  Also, I’d like to see my clients be healed/get happy lives before I die.  The trick, of course, is that I get new clients all the time so I’ll have to live forever

The one thing I have done that has made a difference, I notice now, is that — since my days on the United Church Youth Council (while the earth was still cooling…),  I have appreciated the opinions of those younger than me.  I have loved the stories of those older than me (my grandfather in real life, heroes in biographies), but I have loved the opinions of those younger than me and the spark that creates it.  Today, while I complained about my paperwork after the school year, my friend Liz knew what I was going through and put it in perspective. She teaches college and once worked “under” me. She is the future in so many ways… smart, caring for her son, caring for her husband, caring for the wider world and undoubtedly changing it as well with whatever research she ends up doing. Also today, my in-care student in ministry called to check in about things. She (Char Corbett, remember that name) will also change the world with her ministry.  My 9 year old daughter can read a thick book in a day and my 11 year old gets all A’s and is a great artist.  More changing/helping the world — not directly from me, but through my work — that’s what 50′s about it seems.  I have also had great students in college begin to become colleagues, old youth group kids become great and wonderful people to know, and so much more as I have mentored them without ever calling it that until recently.  I like that, because it means I get more results with less direct effort.

One last thing, I guess, from age 50 — being born in 1960, I will always consider myself a hippie. I’m not really, being all of 9 when Woodstock happened, but I love the spirit (I would say Spirit) of those times and it has always made more sense to me than the late 70′s or –certainly — the Reagan 80′s. As Bob Dylan turns, what, 70?!!, I would love to think of myself as the tail end of the hippie generation. Not all of my peers would choose that, and that’s their right. But Peter Wells, Bob Kyte, Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, Martin Luther King, John Lennon, and George Harrison are all my kind of people. If I could be 1% of Martin or Joan and maybe 10% of what Peter and Bob are, with the quiet action of Pete Seeger I would be happy and feel like I did my job in life.  I kind of think of Harry Chapin as the last of the hippies, too, before he died. I can’t imagine what the world would be like if Harry was still making music. And yes, Eric, I’m still jealous because you got to meet the family.  But I still have pictures of Harryand a girl I was sort-of seeing at the time taken with my little Kodak (Kids, that term will be in your history books someday).

So, there it is. I don’t feel old yet, but I’m certainly not young, by any stretch of the imagination.  I’m … well… 50.

Peace,

John

Answers for Emma

My friend Dawn posted something to her Facebook page the other day that I took as a challenge.  Dawn and her husband Derek are very old friends   of mine (I’ve known Derek longer) and members of my brief (1 and 1/2 years, I think) try at a new church start awhile ago. I still consider myself slightly  responsible for their spiritual lives, even if they don’t.  That includes Emma, so when Dawn posted I thought it would be fun… Here’s Dawn’s original post…

“Dawn…was asked these questions from a feverish five-year-old in the middle of the night: Mommy, how were we made? How did God make people? Why did he make people have different skin colors? Why do alligators have sharp teeth? How do they make apple juice?`

Here are my answers…

Boy, Emma, you ask alot of questions!  That’s a good thing, and I hope you continue to do that all of your life.  There are alot of answers to your questions and nobody really knows about the “God” questions because none of us humans (that I know of) were there when it happened. Having said that, I’ll tell you what I think, and hope you will continue to try and figure it out for yourself some day.

1) and 2) How were we made? and How did God make people?  These are big questions for a lot of people.  I assume that God makes people pretty much the same way God always has…  When you get older, your Mom can give you some of the details of how it works, but even what she tells you isn’t the whole story.  The Bible talks about 3 different ways that God made people and/or the universe.  Most people don’t know that, so now you’re ahead of the game.

The first story says that God created the world in 7 days and that after that God created humans by taking mud and breathing into it and “poof!” there we were.  Another story says that God made men and then realized he’d never be happy by himself, so God took a rib out of the man and made the first woman.  These stories are in the first part of the Bible. Later, the Bible says that God’s words made  everything else in the universe. I kind of assume that means people, too.  Here’s the thing, though: whether it’s because God breathed, God did weird surgery, or God talked, God created people because God wanted to.  Since God is holy, everything God makes is holy, too. That means every person alive, including you, is precious to God.  All the animals and plants that God created — whether we like them or not — even if we think they’re yucchy!!! is important to God. 

3) Why did God make people with different skin colors?  Wow! Good question.  Again, a lot of answers. I’m not totally sure, but I think God made it that way to help people be OK where they live. I think people with a lot of sun near them during their lives are darker and so don’t burn as much — but I’m not sure about that.  Another reason — and I am pretty sure about tis one — why people are yellow and red and pink and brown?  For the same reason God makes rainbows or flowers or birds with so many colors — because it makes the world a prettier place.  In addition to cool eye colors and hair colors and heights and weights and all the other stuff have to make the world a prettier place, skin color is one more.

4) Why do alligators have sharp teeth?  So they can eat, silly! They like to eat things that are tough to chew : leather, tin cans, trees, and all kinds of meat. They’re pretty scary and you should avoid them so they don’t eat you, but they’re also pretty dumb as animals go, so they’re not particularly good at conversation either… It’s kind of boring to spend any time with them (and they could eat you), so I’d avoid them altogether, even if they’re important to God.

5) How do they make apple juice?  They take apples right off the tree and they put them under big screens and they mush the apples and the juice comes out. Do you have apples in your backyard. If you do, you could make apple juice too some day.

Well, that’s all for now… We can talk again later.  Be well, little girl!  Your Mom and Dad love you very much, and God loves you even more…

Peace,

John

They Must Have Missed the Memo…

AOL news today reminds me that if we had laws against stupidity, they’d be broken way too frequently.

The two big stories that set me off today are:

New Bedford, MASSACHUSETTS (yes, in “the North”) — Somebody is selling property for a new community and they put on the sign: “White People Only”.  The New Bedford paper published the deed just as it was listed and some woman had to complain to the Massachusetts Discriminiation Commission in order to get it dealt with!  Just a few historical reminders:  In the 1870′s people from that state were fighting against slavery of the Black man (and woman and child).  Owners of this particular property are 130 or so years behind the times if they don’t know that THE NORTH WON THE WAR!!!  Also in the news…. 1954, 1960, 1964… Martin Luther King, Jr…. The Civil Rights movement… Any of this ringing any bells???  Come on!!! Get lives!!!  Oh, and something happened last year… let’s see if I can remember… Oh, yeah!!! Our first ever Black president!!!   Do you really think that an exclusive community of White folks is really all that cool when the president of the United States (the most powerful person in the country) isn’t welcomed — change that — isn’t allowed there?   What on earth are you thinking????    That’s a lot of memos to have missed, folks!

Oh, and while I’m here, for all you anti-government activists:  The Discrimination Commission is one of those “logical” choices for budget cuts since we don’t need them anymore.  But what would we be doing if there was no commission to protest to?  Would this sign stay up? What a weird world we live in — we worry about activist judges and banks that don’t believe the law applies to them.  I’m sure it never occurred to me to worry about activist realtors.  I soooo thought we were past that in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.  Probably my best friend from seminary, Charlie Crook, was from New Bedford (aka New Behfa…) and I’m sure he must be shaking his head at the regressiveness of this property owner, who ever they are.

On a totally different note — no politics, no deep systems thought here — Lindsay Lohan, former actress and now train wreck, back from Europe for court and now forced to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet had her monitor go off at the MTV awards.Does she really think there will be no consequences for this behavior?   Here she is,  perhaps the most famous person in America — not the best, but probably  the most famous right now –  Did she think she could sneak a drink and no one one would notice?  It’s not like every person for miles doesn’t have a camera. It’s not like the awards are televised or anything. It’s not like she doesn’t have a direct connection to the police.  Are you kidding me???  I once had a client whose heroin use caused him to die and be revived and he continued to use.  It took all of nothing to get the court to Section him (put him in jail against his will for thirty days to sober up) because he was a danger to himself. In California they call that 5150-ing somebody (that’s the state statute number).  If Lohan is truly that insistent on drinking, she wants to drink more than she wants to live.  It’s time she got 5150-ed for her own good. Enough with the nice rehab. Enough with Celebrity Rehab.  Enough with Dr. Feelgood or whoever’s prescribing her meds.  Somebody’s got to stop this woman or she will be dead.  Put her behind bars until it’s all out of her system and give her an even shot at stopping — no guarantees, but a 50/50 shot at it.  That’s the best you can do for someone this troubled…   Maybe she didn’t know that alcohol and drugs weren’t good for you.  Another one that’s missed a few memos. Oh, well.

Stray Thoughts: Getting Stuff Off of My Chest

I just feel like writing tonight. Don’t have any burning big issues, so I’ll see where this goes:

1)  Shouldn’t They Know How To Fix This?  I’m not a scientist or engineer or anything, but when BP had this oil rig blow up, shouldn’t they have had a plan to fix it — one  that they knew worked?  I keep hearing, “we’ll try this” and “we’ll try that next”, but shouldn’t there have been a switch or a valve or something that just turns this thing off? And, if they’re not pumping it to the surface (which I assume they’re not), does it just come up naturally like this? Why, if it’s that easy once you get the hole drilled, why is it so expensive to do?

2) I’m no longer Obama’s biggest fan.  I have a very liberal friend who’s been mad at Obama for not being radical left enough almost since day one.  As one can probably tell from this blog, I like the guy because he represented ideals again — the audacity to hope and all like that. He seems to be into “fair play” and correcting the landscape so that more people are incuded in our nation.  Having said that, it seems like there’s a lot of background politics going on — especially about who will run for what seat in this state or that. If Blogojovich is only one example of political favors and there now seem to be two more, I am seriously not impressed by this administration. I had hoped for a return to ethics in the White House and part of me thinks that this is how all parties work, but the idea of putting out the best candidates and letting the voters choose who they like is at the center of democracy.  I don’t know how they can do this and still claim to be ethical, which is what I saw in him when I voted.  “Not shrill like Sarah Palin” isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement” and John McCain would’ve been interesting except for that. If Obama is not going to be ethical and transparent and an agent of change, I don’t know why he should be president — or at least someone I’d vote for. This is not a made up scandal, a sex scandal or a discussion of “values” with a “wink-wink nod-nod” thing. You can’t blame Rush Limbaugh for this one. This is serious stuff and I hope he addresses it. If he doesn’t, I will lose respect for him.

3) The lives of the poor suck. This week, clients either had their electricity cut off or were threatened with it.  Insurance companies charge alot and give a little according to one of my other clients.  Insurance decisions in other cases are penny-wise and pound-foolish. School systems with no money are designed to turn out students with no future. Government money is cut off in one way or another for my clients all the time, or they are squeezed out of nearly every nickel that they get until they can’t eat or heat their houses or find houses.  I have still yet to see any full-on discussion of the plight of the poor in America, and it’s high time we started one.  This is not to say, by the way, that I think my clients are all innocent. They’re not. Many have made choices which left them poor and they are responsible for them, but damn, it’s hard if you’re poor in this country.

That’s all I’ve got for now, except that I’m glad Sandra Bullock’s back in the world of the living.

Peace,

John